


This Is Where It Gets Complicated...

by PuckPip24601



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Doctor Meets Doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23395183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuckPip24601/pseuds/PuckPip24601
Summary: “Doctor!” He called out again, garnering a few looks from passers-by but he ignored them for now and began moving back the way they’d came, hoping to find either her or at least his grandson and Yaz if his initial search yielded no results, “Doctor?!”“Oh hello! Hi? What is it?” Graham blinked, head turning at a male voice coming from his left and his frantic push through the crowds came to a stop as he looked at him, puzzled as to why he’d responded. The man was young looking, had dark hair that flopped over his face and looked as though he’d just stopped running his hands through it. He was dressed like someone three times his age in a tweed jacket and bowtie, but he pulled it off well enough, Graham supposed.“Oh, sorry mate no. Not you, I’m looking for a friend of mine, they keep wandering off. The Doctor.” Graham didn’t stay still for longer than he needed to, waving the young man off as kindly as he could as he started walking again. He missed the slight grin that appeared on the guy’s face, but he definitely realised it when the man was suddenly at his side, helping him move through the crowds.
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor & The Fam, Thirteenth Doctor & Eleventh Doctor, Thirteenth Doctor & The Fam
Comments: 45
Kudos: 292





	1. Chapter 1

“Doctor?!” Graham whirled around in a circle, throwing his hands up in exasperation as he once again found himself alone. For all that the Doctor was excited to bring them to new places in the universe she wasn’t all that into experiencing it with them. Sometimes they’d get to these places and she’d be with them for maybe 10 minutes before she’d slip away when they weren’t paying attention. Sometimes it was a simple case of her wandering off. Other times, more worryingly, she’d be gone for hours, only coming back once they’d started to genuinely panic that she may have left them there. Those times, when they’d voice their worries, she’d usually roll her eyes in a good-natured fashion and assure them that she would always come back for them.

They’d only been in this alien market for about half an hour, Ryan and Yaz had gone off separately to look through some of the clothing stalls down a side street a little earlier, leaving Graham with the Doctor. Only then he’d turned around and found himself alone. He’d called out for her, trying to see a hint of her blonde hair and grey coat through the crowds, and frowned when he couldn’t find her.

“Doctor!” He called out again, garnering a few looks from passers-by but he ignored them for now and began moving back the way they’d came, hoping to find either her or at least his grandson and Yaz if his initial search yielded no results, “Doctor?!”

“Oh hello! Hi? What is it?” Graham blinked, head turning at a male voice coming from his left and his frantic push through the crowds came to a stop as he looked at him, puzzled as to why he’d responded. The man was young looking, had dark hair that flopped over his face and looked as though he’d just stopped running his hands through it. He was dressed like someone three times his age in a tweed jacket and bowtie, but he pulled it off well enough, Graham supposed.

“Oh, sorry mate no. Not you, I’m looking for a friend of mine, they keep wandering off. The Doctor.” Graham didn’t stay still for longer than he needed to, waving the young man off as kindly as he could as he started walking again. He missed the slight grin that appeared on the guy’s face, but he definitely realised it when the man was suddenly at his side, helping him move through the crowds.

“I can help! What is this friend of yours like?” Graham eyed him up and down for a second, trying to gage whether or not he could trust him. But something in his grin and the excitement shining through in his eyes reminded him of the Doctor, just a little bit, so Graham answered him, eyes darting forward again in search of said Doctor as he spoke.

“You’d know her when you saw her. Stands out for miles does that one.” Graham chuckled fondly to himself and almost missed it when his new friend went stalk still and only gaped at him. He turned back to him, a few steps ahead already and frowned, concerned, “you alright mate?”

“Her?! I – She’s a woman? The Doctor?” It was almost shouted, the surprise clear in the younger man’s voice and Graham’s eyebrows rose in his own surprised confusion.

“You know the Doctor?”

“Uhh, yeah, you could say that. Yes. She used to know me, is a better way of putting it. Has she been a woman long?”

“As long as I’ve known her.” Graham smiled, amused by the question and by the way the man’s face seemed to move quickly back into excitement.

“I’ve never been a woman before.”

“I’d assume as much mate.”

“No. Not what I- what’s your name?”

“Graham, what about you?”

“Uh-”

“Graham!” They both turned as their conversation was interrupted and Graham spotted his grandson and Yaz pushing their way through the crowds towards them. The man in the bowtie was quick to look Yaz up and down as she approached.

“Doctor?” he asked her questioningly, a knowing grin on his face only for it to drop as Yaz furrowed her eyebrows in confusion and shook her head.

“Uh, Yaz.”

“The Doc’s blonde.” Graham clarified and the man nodded in understanding.

“Right, right.” He motioned to Graham quickly, absently, and smiled, sticking out his hand for Yaz to shake, “hello, nice to meet you. Are you also her companions?”

“Yeah, I’m Yaz, he’s Ryan. You know the Doctor?” he seemed to bite back a knowing grin at that and shrugged coyly.

“You could say that. Was helping Graham here find her.” He sat a friendly hand on Graham’s shoulder then frowned as Yaz’s face fell.

“She disappeared again?” she asked Graham and none of them missed Ryan’s exasperated sigh and eye roll when Graham nodded the affirmative to her question.

“What a surprise.” Ryan deadpanned, visibly irate and Graham gave his arm a comforting pat.

“It’ll be alright son. She’ll show up sooner or later.”

“Yeah I know.”

“This is a regular occurrence then?” their bowtie wearing friend raised an eyebrow and Graham shrugged.

“More often than we’d like. She tends to just wander off, disappears for a few hours. If she hasn’t just completely left, to show back up when she feels like it.” The man’s face became the instant picture of concern at Graham’s words and he looked between the three of them.

“Has she always done this?”

“No.” Yaz spoke up with a sigh, “used to come everywhere with us, could barely get rid of her. But something happened a couple months ago, now she just goes off to wherever it is she’s going off to.”

“What happened?”

“Ran into an old friend of hers." She paused, scoffing out the word quietly, "friend." then she continued like normal, "We’d thought she was fine; she went off to drop off her two new friends and when she got back she was just…” Yaz trailed off, frowning, “so something happened between then and when she got back but she won’t tell any of us.” She paused, eyes darting suddenly to the man’s face and she took a minor step back, as though finally realising that she didn't know this man and that was far too much to share with a stranger, “who are you again?”

“Oh, well, just…” he paused for a second, “I was going to keep pretending and have fun but now it feels like it would just be sad if I did, so,” he thrust out his hand in-between the three of them, “Hello, I’m the Doctor.”


	2. There You Go

“What do you mean you’re the Doctor?” Yaz questioned him. All three humans were staring at him like he was insane and he hmphed a little at the prospect of not being believed and dropped his hand when he realised that none of them were going to shake it, reaching instead to fix his bowtie with an indignant tug of the fabric.

“I take it she hasn’t gone over regeneration with you lot then? Time Lords, when dying, can change themselves, regenerate every single cell in our body. Problem is, they tend to leave you with a startlingly new face and body and everything, or, by her case, gender.” He grinned, “like I’d said, never been a woman before, almost can’t wait. Though,” he paused with a quick frown, “not planning on dying any time soon, so I suppose it _can_ wait.”

“She…” Graham spoke up first, frowning with his eyebrows drawn together in confusion, “she mentioned it before. When we first met her, she fell through the roof of a train, said thirty minutes ago she’d been a white-haired Scotsman and dragged us out on a big mystery. Then passed out on our couch for a few hours.”

“Ooo, really just post-regeneration. And, white haired Scotsman, more clues, in-ter-esting.” He sounded out the last word then beamed, “more than one extra regeneration, wonder where those are coming from!” he held his hands up, eyes wide and face beaming, “no, wait, don’t tell me, I wanna find out all on my own. Now!” he threw his arms out, “TARDIS, come on you lot.” He waved them on and spun on his heel to begin walking, “tick tock!”

“Do you think we’re stupid or something?” he whirled back around at Yaz’s question with wide confused eyes.

“What? Why would I think that?”

“We’re not just gonna bring you to her TARDIS, we only have _your_ word that you’re the Doctor. Why should we even believe you?” he rolled his eyes once he understood and stepped closer into their little group, leaning with an elbow on Graham’s shoulder. He’d aimed for Ryan first, but the younger man was quite a bit taller, so he gave up on that and had switched arms.

“Course not. Don’t be stupid.” She blinked at the blunt rudeness of his words that threw her own back at her, but he just grinned at her, resisting the urge to bop her nose, like he would have done Amy, and continued talking, “I suspect by what you’ve been saying that her TARDIS probably wouldn’t even be there. No, we’re going to my TARDIS. It’s the same TARDIS mind you, just a different time. Then, time works differently for the TARDIS, and-” he cut himself off with a wild bat in the air with his free hand, “anyway, come on you lot, TARDIS, we’re going to look for her.” And once again, he spun on his heel and this time he didn’t look over his shoulder, fully expecting them to follow. Which they did.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“Hello, you sexy thing.” He sped up into a light, playful, jog once the TARDIS came into view, smoothing his hand down over the wood of the door for a moment before he snapped his fingers to give the moment a bit of a flourish as the doors swung open as he whirled around to look to his future companions. He pointed backwards, behind himself and grinned, “see? TARDIS! Proved it. Doctor, me” he pointed at himself and then turned around to practically skip into his ship.

He’d just reached the console by the time Yaz finally made her way on board. She stopped once inside; eyes wide as she took in the sight before her.

“Oh.”

“Come on! In, in!” he called to her, beaming in amusement as the other two followed her in and both paused as well.

“Looks different than ours.” Yaz informed him as she cautiously made her way up the stairs towards him.

“Yeah, desktop change. I do that every once and a while. When I’m in need of a change. What do you think?”

“It’s nice.” When she didn’t say anything more his face scrunched up in mild annoyance.

“ _Nice_? That’s it?” she bit back a grin, a hum of amusement leaving her at his tone, and she shrugged.

“Yeah, nice.” He let out a huff of air, cheeks puffing up with it for a moment before he looked around when Ryan let out a startled noise. The young man had almost ended up on the floor after tossing himself down onto one of the chairs around the sides of the console. He blinked up at the Doctor and the Time Lord tried to hold back a huff of laughter and pointed to him.

“Yeah, the chairs are a little wobbly, you get used to it. Part of the charm.”

“Least this one has seats.” Graham relented, helping Ryan back properly upright with a little grin of his own.

“Yup, much better. Best desktop this one.”

“Bet it doesn’t have a biscuit dispenser.” Yaz’s tone was intentionally passive as she meandered around the console, seemingly having a look around and the smugness left the Doctor’s face and he pouted, visibly put out.

“She has a biscuit dispenser?!”

“Custard creams, mostly.”

“Ugh.” He glanced up to the central column, pointing a finger accusingly at his ship, “you could’ve included a biscuit dispenser in any of my past console rooms and you chose not to? Could’ve given me an unlimited supply of jammy dodgers? How dare you?” he paused, blinking suddenly as the thought of him with an unlimited supply of biscuits came to mind. He imagined what Amy would think about that. “Actually, smart thinking.” He wrapped his knuckles softly against the edge of said console, “I probably wouldn’t get anything else done.”

“So how are you gonna find her?” Yaz asked, bringing his thoughts back on track and he smiled, pointing to her playfully before he reached around for the monitor to pull it closer to himself.

“Gonna do a little Doctor detecting.”

“Doctor detecting?” Ryan questioned his word choice, lips quirking upwards in amusement and the Doctor grinned back at him with a nod, repeating himself with gusto.

“Gonna do Doctor detecting. That’s why we came to the TARDIS. If I’d done this with the sonic it was gonna get confused by moi, so, instead, we come to the TARDIS, where, once inside, I can run a scan for myself slash Time Lords. That way we can see if she’s still on the planet or not and, if she’s not, I can send her a message that she’ll see in her future to get her butt back here. Then we’ll have a chat about not leaving companions behind on strange planets. Though,” he paused and frowned, “I already know this so, so should she.”

“If you can get a reason out of her then let us know.”

“Can do.” He sent him a wink and then turned back to his console and began running the scan to search for his future self, planet wide.

“So, are you travelling with anyone? The Doc’s mentioned in passing that she’s travelled with other people in the past.” Graham piped up and the Doctor’s hands slowed for a second as he thought of the Ponds, of them living their lives back home and his resistance to go see them and disrupt that. Of his loneliness without them.

“Sometimes. They’re… back home right now, taking a pause.” The three shared a look, he didn’t know what that look meant, but they seemed to all have a matching understanding of something and the mood in the room dropped a little. Perhaps his ability to hide things hadn’t improved by much when he regenerated into this future version of himself. That would probably suck. Then again, they didn’t seem to know anything. Maybe she was bad at hiding it but a lot better at keeping secrets. He frowned to himself. That somehow felt like it was worse. He tried to imagine Amy, knowing that he knew some big secret that was eating away at him, but also knowing that he just downright wouldn’t tell her. She’d have smacked him by now. And these 3 had said that this future him had been acting this way for months. _Months_. A worrying prospect indeed.

“Who are they?” Yaz asked, the question prompting and hesitant. Like she was worried about probing too much. And that just made him frown more, because that wasn’t even that bad of a question.

“The Ponds.” He normally wouldn’t share too much but he didn’t want them thinking that every version of the himself had such a tendency to keep everything a secret. Plus, the Ponds weren’t some big secret he was ashamed of. They were his mates. His best mates. He just missed them was all. “Amy and Rory.”

“How long they been travelling with you?”

“Used to be full time, I’ve known Amy since she was 6, though… I did skip about 17 years until I finally got the timing right for her to come along. Rory joined not too long after. I met her right after I’d regenerated too, crash landed in her back garden, destroyed her shed.”

“We met the Doc- you,” Yaz smiled at her own correction, shaking her head slightly at the situation she’d found herself in. She chose to, like usual, just roll with it, “on a train, back home.”

“And where’s home?” she smirked, bemused, pointing up at her mouth and staring at him like that should have been obvious.

“Sheffield.”

“Right, well, obvious answer. So, we meet on a train?”

“We were there, on that train, it stops all of a sudden,” Graham took over, seeing as he was the only one there for the beginning of it all, “this weird metal tentacle thing comes through the roof and then, 10 seconds later down comes the Doctor, in torn clothes four times too big for her, doesn’t even remember her own name and still she manages to handle the situation.”

“We got there right as the thing was about to leave.” Ryan continued, pointing to Yaz and she nodded.

“You both weren’t on the train?”

“I’m a police officer.” She explained to the Doctor at his question, “or I will be, once I pass my probation period.”

“Ooo, a police officer, a real one this time.”

“Pardon?” he quickly waved her off with a soft amused smile, remembering the ten-minute time frame that he’d thought Amy was a police officer, but not wanting to share that particular story of his companion, he simply said,

“Nothing.”

“Anyway, yeah, I’d been with Ryan investigating this weird thing he’d found in the woods. Turned out to be a transport thing for this creature. Can’t remember what it was, the Doctor just took to calling it Tim Shaw to mug it off.”

“It had teeth in its face.” Ryan’s face scrunched up in disgust, “like, other people’s teeth. For trophies.”

“Ew, yuck.” The Doctor’s face moved into an expression much the same as Ryan’s as he imagined what they described, “gross, very gross. Very unhygienic.” He shrugged finally, “anyway, gotta look forward to falling out of the sky into a train then fighting teeth faced aliens. Almost can’t wait, sounds like a fairly typical day for me. Maybe a Tuesday, those are always pretty weird.” The console suddenly beeped and he whirled back around to it, “so! Let’s see, planet is scanned, and… no sign of another TARDIS.” He let out a soft frustrated sigh, “so, sending a message it is.” He glanced around to them, “I will have a chat with her, for you all.”

“Thanks.” Yaz’s voice was quiet but thankful and his hands flew across the console as he set about sending the message.

**_THINK YOU FORGOT SOME THINGS? MADE SOME LOVELY NEW FRIENDS I’LL HAVE TO FORGET ONCE YOU GET BACK PLANET-SIDE. WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? DON’T THINK WE WON’T BE HAVING A CHAT ONCE YOU’RE BACK._ **


	3. More Than Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest. Not 100% in love with this chapter but it's been written and rewritten so many times that at this point I just want it finished and out of my life but I really hope you guys like it anyway. Not thrilled on my characterisation of 13 but hopefully you won't judge me too hard for it. Please enjoy!

The Doctor stared out at the vast expanse of destroyed remnants of her home planet. She kept coming back here. She didn’t know why. To punish herself, perhaps? As penance for the fact that this had happened and she’d been traversing the universe, ignorant to her people’s suffering? Maybe she wanted to share in that pain? The self-masochist the Doctor had always been thought she deserved it. Regardless over the fact that she had no way of knowing what had happened she still felt it was on her shoulders. She should have visited more. Kept a closer contact with those at home. Maybe that she could have been in a position to help. To save them. To not leave the Time Lords an endangered species once again.

With a sigh she pushed herself to her feet, brushing off the red sand and turned back to her ship, deciding that she’d left her Fam for long enough. Time machine or not. She stepped onto her ship, closing the doors behind herself and approached the console, ready to reset in the last co-ordinates when the TARDIS dinged, signalling a new message. She’d tensed, for one terrible moment she thought it was the Master, but as she moved to the monitor to inspect it, she was surprised to find that it came from the TARDIS itself. Just from the past. Her past. She’d left a message for herself. Her eyebrows drawing together as she tried to think of a reason that she would need to leave herself a message and when she could think of nothing she activated the message and blinked in surprise at the words that popped up on the screen.

**_THINK YOU FORGOT SOME THINGS? MADE SOME LOVELY NEW FRIENDS I’LL HAVE TO FORGET ONCE YOU GET BACK PLANETSIDE. WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? DON’T THINK WE WON’T BE HAVING A CHAT ONCE YOU’RE BACK._ **

She took note of the date it had been archived to wait for her, frowning more as she noted the co-ordinates were on Misak III. The exact planet she’d just left the Fam on. It appeared her 11th self had met them. And was going to have questions as to why she’d disappeared. She wouldn’t exactly be able to just brush off his questions like she had the Fam’s. Timelines were all well and good as an explanation, but he’d be able to tell. The Doctor never had been able to lie to herself. She heaved out a heavy sigh and reached for the take-off lever. No time like the present to get this over with. And wasn’t that a phrase she’d rarely used in her long life.

<><><><><><><

As soon as the TARDIS gave the ding that another TARDIS had shown up on the planet’s surface, he swept his three future companions back out into the busy market streets in search of this future version of himself. He’d given his bowtie another tug upon stepping out the doors and took in a heavy breath and threw up an arm for them to follow after him.

“Right! Come on you lot, haven’t got all day. Wait around any longer she might just take off again out of sheer boredom.” He paused, his walk coming to a quick stop as he whirled around to them, Ryan almost walking straight into him, “that’s a lie. She probably won’t. I would, but only for a few minutes, just to make a point.” Then he whirled back around once more on the point of his toes on one foot and took off once again. It was only a ten-minute walk, made only that long by the bustling crowded marketplace all around them, meaning they had to push through the opposing flow of people. Yaz took the lead as they got closer, leading them down the alleyway the Doctor had parked the TARDIS down when they’d first arrived. The Doctor was there, waiting on them with her arms crossed, stood leaning against the doors. She smiled and waved once she spotted them.

“Hello Fam!” she called to them brightly and he scrunched his face up at the use of the last word.

“Fam? What kind of- why are we saying Fam? I know I tend to use a lot of weird words this time around but even I avoided that one,” he continued before she could open her mouth to protest him, pointing at her with a cross pout on his face, “and where exactly have you been? Just dumping your friends here while you go off gallivanting.”

“I was only gone twenty minutes.” She rolled her eyes, her tone playfully dismissive but he could hear something uneasy lingering beneath the surface. She didn’t want him asking. Didn’t want him to pry. He glanced around to her companions, the three of them looking between the two Time Lords expectantly, knowing this was something she didn’t want them to know. He just had to find out if it was something they couldn’t know, or if this was just his future self being…. Well…. Secretive for no reason.

“Maybe so.” He turned to the companions, motioning from them to the TARDIS, “give us a minute.” They all hesitated but eventually relented, Graham stepped forward first, wrapping a hand around Ryan’s arm to pull him towards the TARDIS doors and their version of the Doctor stepped out of the way so they could get inside. Yaz didn’t move for a moment. Expression showing distrust, clear as day, as she looked between them. When neither Time Lord budged, she sighed softly with a little shake of her head and followed Ryan and Graham inside. It was the Doctor by the door who reached to pull it shut, dropping her hand once it clicked and turning to her past self.

“I don’t remember having been here.”

“Course you don’t. Me meeting my future companions? Course I’m going to have to forget, means I can meet them for the first time again when you met them. On a train, apparently, falling out of the sky.” He paused with a frown, “how’d that happen?”

“TARDIS blew up, sort of. Tipped me out couple thousand feet in the air before she dematerialized on me.”

“Stranded in Sheffield.” His face scrunched up once more, in an expression that was almost disgust and she glared at him.

“Oi, Sheffield’s great. Don’t take a dig at Sheffield. We like Sheffield.”

“Do we now? Seem to be running from your friends. I promised I’d tell them something. So, why have you been disappearing on them?”

“You’ll find out when your me.”

“No, don’t. Don’t do that. I’m gonna have to forget anyway, might as well give me something. Or, if not me, them. They’re your mates, why don’t you want to tell them?”

“There’s more important things going on, I don’t need to get them involved. I don’t want to.”

“Don’t want to?” he scoffed, whirling around to begin pacing back and forth in the short distance between the walls in the alleyway, “we tell our mates stuff. I tell Amy stuff. Might not always be the whole truth but I tell her something. Why won’t you tell them anything? They seem bright, more loyal than they should be considering you’ve been keeping them in the dark about whatever’s going on for _months_.”

“I’d rather they just got to see the universe. Why do I have to keep bothering my friends with my problems. There’s nothing I can do about it anyway.”

“So, it’s a problem with no solution, so why are you so hung up on it?”

“Hit close to home… I guess.” She seemed to wince at her own words and he just raised an eyebrow further at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Gallifrey.” She finally told him, eyes cast down towards the ground, something dark hardening inside her brown eyes that he recognised intimately. What he didn’t understand was what Gallifrey had to do with it.

“Yes? And? It got destroyed a long time ago, even for me. I’m moving on-”

“No. Just- It’s to do with Gallifrey and I can’t say anything cause, it hasn’t happened yet for you. It hasn’t _begun_ to happen yet, for you.”

“It starts with me then?”

“Yeah. So, I can’t tell you anything more. It’s to do with Gallifrey and it’s nothing that can be undone but it….” She sighed heavily, shaking her head, “nothing. You’ll live it. And when you’re me, you won’t wanna talk about it either.”

“So, tell them that.” She startled, looking back to him and he threw his hands up for a second, “you’re older than me, you should know better. Why do I always seem to get more stupid the more I grow up? You don’t have to tell them everything, just tell them that. That it’s to do with home, something happened, and you don’t want to talk about it. There! You’ve told them something.” He frowned, leaning towards her, his voice quiet, “you will lose them, if you don’t tell them _something_. You know that as well as I do. You’re just choosing to ignore that as well.” She glared at him for a moment, the two letting the tension bat between them back and forth before she let out a heavy sigh and her shoulders slumped as she leaned back against her ship once more.

“You’re right.”

“Course I’m right. We’re the Doctor, we’re always right, even when we’re very wrong.” She cracked a smile at that line and with that he gave her a little two fingered salute, tugging at the bottom of his jacket. “Tell them, they’re probably gonna be annoyed but I must dash. Keep my promise. Tell them something.” She nodded and after a moment of silence he broke out in a silly grin, eyes running over her, “so, a woman huh? Finally happened.”

“Yeah,”

“How is it? Weird? Gotta be weird, it’s weird for me and you’re standing right in front of me.” He paused then frowned and his next words rushing out, “in a good way, obviously. Exciting, can’t wait.” She laughed softly, rolling her eyes in a good-natured amusement.

“It’s…. takes a while to really stop feeling weird. Spent 2000 odd years as a man, it’s bound to feel different when you’re suddenly a woman.” He let out a heavy breath abruptly.

“2000 years? Blimey. That’s too old.”

“You’re telling me.” She muttered back sarcastically then let out her own heavy sigh and pushed herself away from her ship, “alright, I should go in there and talk with them.”

“Right, yes, course.”

“You should go get Amy and Rory. I was always better when they were around.” She flashed him a kind smile and with that she pushed open the door into the TARDIS and disappeared inside. He watched as the ship took off and smiled with a soft chuckle to himself and turned on his heel to head back to his TARDIS, ready to go stop by the Ponds before he ended up forgetting about this whole interaction as the timelines corrected themselves.

><><><><><><><><

The Doctor pressed the door shut behind herself and threw a smile to her companions as she walked up to her console to begin the sequence needed to bring them into the vortex. All three of them frowned, glancing towards the door, clearly waiting for her past self to come in and when the sequence started and the dematerialisation process started, they looked back to her.

“What about the other you?” Yaz asked her, “he said he was gonna…” she trailed off then sighed heavily, shaking her head, visibly frustrated.

“I haven’t been fair to you lot.” The Doctor spoke up, not looking up from the console as she squared her shoulders and prepared to actually share as much as she was willing to, “disappearing like I have been, it’s just…” she sighed, shoulders slumping and she finally looked to them, to their expectant faces, “it’s hard. When I regenerated, I wanted to be so many things. Someone kind, happy. And I’ve tried my hardest, but things keep getting in the way and I don’t want you guys to get dragged down by how I’m feeling, by what’s happening to me. I brought you with me to show you the universe, to show you the wonders and the excitement you can get from travelling but….” When she trailed off Graham spoke up, gently trying to encourage her into continuing.

“It’s alright Doc, take your time.”

“Me and the Master are the last two Time Lords in existence.” She felt the stunned silence that overtook the room and she continued, perching against the console with her arms crossed loosely, “we weren’t. I’d trapped my planet in a pocket universe, saving it from destruction at the end of the time war. The people were alive, lost, but alive. And then the Master….” She frowned, trying to ignore the clench in her jaw and the way her hearts clenched as her eyes began to water, “after we saw him last, back with Daniel Barton and the Kasaavin, he mentioned that I should visit home. He’d destroyed it. Killed everyone. I only got to see it once when they were alive, and he killed them all.” Her voice broke on the last half of the sentence and she was surprised when Yaz darted forward, arms wrapped around her tightly in a hug.

“I’m sorry.” The human mumbled to her quickly, one of her hands running a comforting pattern up and down her back, “I’m so sorry, we shouldn’t have asked.”

“It wasn’t fair to continue hiding things.” She told her back, arms coming up hesitantly so she could hug her back, this body still unsure if it enjoyed the physical comfort or not. It was better than her last one, but it still wasn’t as into physical affection as she used to be. She appreciated the reassurance Yaz was trying to give her though.

“So where have you been going? When you disappear?” Graham asked, his voice full of a sympathetic sadness.

“I just keep going back to look at it. I can’t stop myself. I’m sorry I keep leaving you all alone.”

“It’s alright.” Ryan tried to reassure her this time, the young man clearly not fully comfortable with giving out comfort like that but he was trying, and the Doctor appreciated it all the same. Eventually she shifted out of Yaz’s hold, giving the human one last squeeze of thanks then turned back to the console.

“Alright you lot, what do you say we go on an adventure, an actual one. This time I’m staying with you, I promise not to wander off. Well… actually, I promise not to wander off within reason. I’ll stay on planet, at the very least.” She was thankful when they understood her need for a change of subject and they nodded to her, all giving her soft smiles and she forced her own grin onto her face as she raced around the console, forcing the feelings back down into the little black box she usually kept them in, intending on that box staying locked tight for the forceable future, “alright Fam, away we go!”.


End file.
